Breath by Breath

Celebrating another pass around the sun

Spring scenes

Sometimes life is just so very full. I've written before about the notebook I keep of my "accomplishments", big and small. As I review my notes from time since I've last posted, these are some things that jump out at me.

::: Teaching yoga two, sometimes three times a week and growing in intimacy, caring and engagement with my friends/students.

::: Managing tons and tons of financial and personal matters (insurance, retirement, education savings, taxes, mortgage, wills). I take all this on so that I am completely in the know about our situation and have educated opinions, suggestions and advice to offer.

::: Decided to buy a used car and then decided to get energy efficient windows instead. They still aren't installed.

::: Knitted a kindle cover, a scarf for a gift, one sock, and finished knitting a shawl my mother started but couldn't finish due to her arthritis. Spool knit another rainbow garland for the party supply box.

::: Finished stripping and staining our old 15-drawer dresser and another piece of furniture.

::: Silas spontaneously switched from a "join us in bed every night" kind of kid, to a "sleep in his own bed most of the time" kind of kid. We are all sleeping better and I feel great about how we've evolved.

::: Read several books for pleasure (all on Kindle) -- The Paris Wife, Pride and Prejudice, Emma, The Sense of an Ending. I've now tackled The Brothers Karamozov.

::: Read The Science of Yoga, (also for pleasure, but of a different kind).

::: Cooked and cooked and cooked some more. Our CSA is abundantly supplying us with vegetables and we are trying our best to eat them.

::: Sewed some jammies for Silas. Repaired three skirts, hemmed pants. Finished and mailed the last of the Picnic Rolls I made for gifts. Cleaned out the closets and donated all the discards.

::: Started voice lessons and love my teacher. Hard to practice with discipline.

::: Play groups, play dates, volunteering at school for every party and event, hosting egg hunts, checking out and booking after school and summer activities, field trips, strawberry picking.

::: Rose tending, palm pruning, tree trimming supervising, front entry way courtyard tearing down, vegetable garden pot planting and maintenance, kishu orange tree learning.

::: Spring deep cleaning, rearranging furniture, aquired a lego table off craigslist, finally chose a kitchen paint color.

::: Coordinated a fantastic mini-reunion with 3 college friends in the D.C. area.

::: Lots of visits with local and semi local family and friends.

::: Got up close and personal with Alice Waters and Sir Ken Robinson.

::: Said goodbye to the Byzantine Fresco Chapel.

::: First visit to Galveston of this year. Trekked at Brazos Bend State Park, visited Shangri-La in Orange, TX, spent a weekend in New Orleans.

::: Booked our whole summer vacation.

::: Riding bicycles everywhere -- school, library, grocery store, for fun.

::: Flying kites out on the green space behind our house.

::: Lego, lego, lego.

::: Star wars, star wars, star wars (and he hasn't seen one movie yet!).

::: Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter (we are halfway through book 1).

All is well.

Exploring the art of happy

I recently read this translation of Anna Karenina, my first reading of this, Tolstoy's self-proclaimed first real novel.  I was enraptured by the characters and fell a little in love with Tolstoy, who was so deeply flawed and human and therefore able to capture the fullness of each of his characters.  He made it impossible not to identify with or at least understand the motives, thought processes, weaknesses, strengths and vulnerabilities of each person, seen in relief against a background of a particular time and place in history.  I can't say enough good things about it.  I was deeply moved by Levin's spiritual maturation and his discovery that he's happiest when he is engaged in the work that needs to be done (solving disputes among his farmers, tending to his wife and son, ensuring preparations for the harvest, etc.).  When he stops to contemplate the meaning and purpose of his life, he becomes paralyzed and overwhelmed by existential longings and questions.  Hmmm.  I can relate.  

The pursuit of "happiness" being a tantalizing subject for me right now, I turned my attention to The Geography of Bliss, which a friend gave me about 2 years ago (sorry!).  But, it's one of those books that requires a certain mindset.  In my case, Anna Karenina strongly rooted me in a grand, sweeping view of human nature as essentially changeless, but expressed in a nuanced way depending on the social, political and historical circumstances in which a human lives.  The Geography of Bliss is the travel journal of a western worrier and grump who attempts to gain insight about himself by sifting through academic research about happiness and traveling to some of the "happiest" and "unhappiest" places on the planet. His goal?  To get a first hand view of happiness in practice from both cultural and personal perspectives.  As I was reading, I documented the keys to happiness that he identifies.  Here's a smattering directly from my notes:

•  Trust (personal, social, political)
• Lack of envy and either upward or downward comparison
• Embracing trying (and failing)
• Relationships (individual initiative, coupled with social responsibility)
• Creativity (at all levels and abilities.  To paraphrase:  You need a lot of crap to grow something great.)
• A culture of selfish altruism
• Belief in...something
• Being useful, helpful
• A social safety net
• Flow...the pure joy of being
• Hardworking and loving others
• Cold and dark yield coziness and interdependence
• Gratitude
• Happiness is 100% relational
• Not thinking too much
• Tolerance
• Modest expectations but 100% effort (let go of attachment to results)
• If it isn't fun it's not worth doing
• Let go of what you can't control (and all you can control is yourself and your attitude)
• The quality of a society is more important than your place in that society
• Everything you do and every memory of you will likely be gone in 3-4 generations, so don't take it too seriously
• Connection to place/nature

I'm now turning my attention from the theoretical to the practical.  I've resisted reading this book for a while.  The genre of "be like me" middleclass self-disclosure memoirs is a bit tiresome.  I read two earlier this year (Poser and Project Happily Ever After).  I frankly did not like either person as they presented themselves and I found myself full of judgments (I'm suspecting a little projection here...as well as internalized classism).  Nevertheless  I ended up identifying more than I thought with their feelings and experiences.  So, here I am reading, The Happiness Project, another middle class memoir/instruction manual.  I thought it would be  interesting to see a practical journey toward happiness and this is what was out there.  I'm 5/6 of the way through her year-long "project."  Frankly, I can't wait to be done.  I'm not sure I've gained anything useful for my own experience, but I'm reserving judgment.  Actually, I can think of a couple useful things...

• Be a keeper of happy memories.  I come from a family that doesn't talk about the past at all- the good, the bad, or the otherwise.  I didn't realize how much it matters to me to keep memories on behalf of my current family.  I don't scrapbook.  I don't record things faithfully.  But, I take tons of pictures, I keep notes about significant events, I blog.   I will take this role more seriously in the future.
• Do what you do.  Essentially this is a way of saying, "Be yourself."  She says this another way, "You can choose what you do, but you can't choose what you like to do."  If you are looking for more happy in your day, embrace the things you already find yourself doing (in my case, yoga, reading, cooking, bringing people together, writing, making things), and mine your childhood for the things that made your heart sing (acting, singing, building spaces, making up stories and characters).
• Your body matters.  Exercise, food, play and rest yield energy, vitality, stress management, feeling sexy, better sleep, increased patience, elevated mood.....need I say more?
• One of the best ways to get happy is to make others happy.  Conversely, one of the best ways to make others happy is to be happy yourself.  Small, daily happiness is actually really difficult to sustain.  At least one person was sainted for her almost invisible efforts at small happiness (Saint Therese, "I take care to appear happy and especially to be so").

(I guess I am getting more out of it than I thought!)

I think I'll turn to the Dalai Lama's The Art of Happiness next.  I can't help but be inspired by a person who exudes such positive energy and broad perspective in the face of cruelty to his own people and throughout the planet.  I had the privilege of hearing him speak in person once and I will never forget it.  If I ever doubted the power of one person's energy to ripple through and influence the energy of multitudes, I didn't doubt it after being in his presence. 

Here's to actually being happy. 

Embracing ::: appreciating ::: looking forward

Random musings...

1 ::: Our current reality includes public school.  Ahem.  I'm not at peace about that decision, yet I can  embrace the kindness, good intentions, and positive outlook of the teachers and a few good friends Silas is making.

2 ::: We watched "The Wizard of Oz" in two installments these last two Friday nights (our "movie night").  I hesitated to introduce it to Silas at his young age because I was fairly traumatized by one part of it when I was 5 (Spoiler Alert ::: I was so afraid Dorothy wouldn't get home when the balloon took off, I couldn't watch the rest of the movie).  But I also remember looking forward to the annual viewing of this film.  We watched it now because he was shown clips in music class at school and he knows the songs from bedtime singing, and, frankly, I didn't want him to see it elsewhere.  I wanted it to be a family experience/memory.  We had to stop the movie when the witch instructed her minions to go and get Dorothy because Silas got quite scared.  I am proud of how we handled it.  He made the choice to continue after reassurances that Dorothy's friends were coming to help her.  At the end he said, "Mommy, it was all a dream!). 

Remember when you couldn't watch anything "on demand"?  The anticipation of that annual viewing of "The Wizard of Oz", "The Sound of Music", "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang", etc., was delicous.  He has friends who have seen all the Star Wars movies over and over, among other things.  We won't let him watch them until he can understand the hero's journey better.  Sometimes I feel like such a freak and I worry we might turn him into one. 

I wish we had more friends who resisted media saturation (iPod, iTouch, iPad, Wii, movies, tv shows, computer games all included), truly embraced imaginative and outdoor play, and protected their children's innocence more fully.  When I watch my boy play with his friends, the scripts they enact come from movies and video games.  Silas plays along and is drawn into the power play of guns and missles and aliens and zombies, all second hand.  Somehow it seems worse here in the suburbs.  Is it?  I find little to embrace in 24-7 media/entertainment culture.  I find it appalling that this is "normal." 

What's to embrace?  When you truly want to see something, you can do it at your convenience (I like watching "The Daily Show" when I want to, for example).  Also, you can stop "The Wizard of Oz" DVD when your child gets scared, rather than pressing on and leaving an indelible fear-filled  memory.  Social media can help you reclaim people lost to changing life circumstances, some of which are beyond your control (like being forced to move towns when you are young).   

 3 ::: We are looking forward to a "mommy date" this week.  I am taking Silas out of school early every now and then to enjoy some alternative education/fun experiences and a break from routine.

4 ::: I appreciate the chance to practice and teach yoga with my friends.  I benefit so much from the discipline and preparation and I enjoy sharing a little of what I know.  I value the increased intimacy and view into each other's lives that happens with the accompanying conversation. 

5 ::: Healing is ongoing and I can use all my power to help it along.  What amazing beings we are!

6 ::: Order and beauty are so underrated!  Even a little clearing out and cleaning up elevates my spirit and makes room for more (ideas, creativity, productivity, ease).

7 ::: I'm embracing the principles and practice of compassionate communication and I'm grateful to my practice group for their willingness to learn together.  It's amazing how my view of situations changes when I ask myself what needs I and the other(s) are trying to meet in a given situation.  It's such a simple thing, but so important in easing the way.

8 ::: I'm looking for some fun! 

Have a great day.

 

Home crafts ::: bedside caddies

Silas sleeps upstairs and we sleep downstairs (at least he sleeps upstairs until he decides to come downstairs).  Lately, that happens in the wee hours and he's requested a flashlight to guide his passage.  He also asked for a place to keep his flashlight so he can always find it. 

Thus, the gusseted bedside caddy was conceived and formed.  After making Silas's to fit his current chapter book and flashlight, I decided I needed one, too.  Mine is designed to hold all the important things I like at my bedside--book (and now Kindle), book light, notepad and pen, reading glasses, ear plugs and headphones/Bluetooth (who doesn't need earphones to facilitate those pre-sleep viewings of important things like "The Daily Show" and "Downton Abbey" and, if I'm super tired, "Murder She Wrote"?).  [Does everyone else love Jessica Fletcher the way I do?"]

I used cotton upholstery fabric and sturdy interfacing between layers, so they hang nicely without sagging.  Silas's has ties on it.  Mine employs hair elastics, which I hang from tiny cup hooks screwed into the underside of the moulding on the night stand.  Mine doesn't really show because it is attached to my nightstand, facing my bed.  I used the fabric to match the pillows I made last summer.  

All-in-all, quite functional.

 

Home crafts ::: picnic rolls for friends

Holiday gifties for families we love...Picnic rolls inspired by Amanda Soule's project in Rhythm of the Family.  It took me a few tries to get the proportions I wanted and I thrifted silverware, useful utensils and napkins to tuck inside--ready to go to the park, beach, playground, festival hill...

I used cotton upholstery fabric in four different colorways (of course I forgot to take pictures of the others) and this vintage print (above), which I scored at the International Quilt Festival in Houston way back in 2006, when Silas was a mere 6 months old!  I tucked a thin layer of cotton batting between for cushiony comfort.

A mother's journal ::: independence & creativity

I love catching my little one doing unexpected things on his own initiative.

He got an awesome pirate ship and Peter Pan set up from Santa, which has provided hours of swashbuckling, crocodile-wrestling, kidnapping and swordfighting fun.  The other morning he said he wanted to wear his Captain Hook costume while he played pirates.  I helped him get it all out and on and went about my morning chores. 

A half-hour or so later the house was just a bit too quiet.  I wandered around looking for Silas and found this:

Not satisfied with costume alone, he sought out the face paints and happily decorated himself to reflect his vision of a fierce, not foppish Captain Hook.

A day or so later, I "caught" him exploring the master bathroom cabinets and drawers after masterfully clipping his own toenails for the first time.  Earlier in December I witnessed a similar determination while decorating holiday cookies for the first time on his own.

Is there anything more gratifying that seeing your young person exert his own will, execute his own ideas, and exude such self-confidence and pride in his own independence.  These small scale expressions of initiative foreshadow future actions and choices by a growing independent spirit.  His willingness to try on his own...that's my favorite part. 

 

 

Home crafts ::: St. Nicholas cookies

Our December 6 Advent Stocking not only called for investigating the St. Nicholas Day shoe. Some post-school & -gymnastics cookie baking also was on the agenda.

I used a traditional German spice cookie recipe with a simple glaze frosting (links to be added). They are meant to be cut into the image of St. Nicholas, but, alas I didn't get a cutter ordered in time. Silas didn't care and loved decorating these simple cookies. I halved the recipe so it made three dozen and I used about 1/3 cup of icing for all the cookies. The cookies themselves are not at all sweet, are gently spicy and the glaze provides just a touch of sweet. Perfect with tea or eggnog.

The recipe is perfect for little ones because the dough mixes up easily is gently kneaded and then cut and baked immediately. The dough was forgiving of a few stray lumps and extra rolling flour and separated easily from the cookie cutters. They looked perfect out of the oven, handsomely caramel in color with clean, well defined edges and a smooth surface.

We put the cookies in the oven, ate dinner, then decorated. The small amout of cookies and virtually unlimited decoration potential kept my 5 year old stayed engaged the whole time. What a pleasant evening we had!

Home crafts ::: Solstice elving is underway

We will be multiplying the number of friends with children gathered for our Winter Solstice Tamale Fiesta this year, and many thanks are due and offered to the community of families who have embraced us since we've moved to our new home in Clear Lake. Friends new and old will gather for an evening of crafting, creativity sharing, Solstice observing, feasting, and celebration. Plans are well underway...invites set, menu set, shopping lists created, and lots of elving....We have children from age one to teen attending, so a wide array of hands, hearts and minds will be seeking crafty fun.

Here are some previews...

Home crafts ::: the Annabel Cardigan

I know very few reasons to celebrate being sick for the better part of 2 weeks.  One good thing is that I am caught up on my unfinished knitting queue (except for one project which I've tabled until spring). 

I even had time to knit up this awesome sweater, the Annabel Cardigan from Quince & Co.  (Sorry for the view of our messy bathroom!) 

I purchased this purple-y blue locally produced yarn on our trip to the Isle of Grand Manan in New Brunswick last year.  It is bulky and pretty and fairly soft.   I've been saving it for this pattern and I'm glad I did.  Annabel is a classic, serviceable sweater, with just a hint of modernity.  My yarn was true to guage on this one and nothing knits up as quickly and with fewer brain cells as garter stitch with bulky yarn. 

The pattern is nicely written; it's super easy to knit with markers and a row counter.  It's worked from the top down, with sleeves added from stitches held on waste yarn while you finish the bodice.  I'd use a cable cast-on next time to keep the neckline from getting a bit stretchy, but overall I'm super happy with it.  I love the 3/4-inch sleeves (which my husband puts in the category of capri pants when it comes to ridiculous), but he doesn't wash as many dishes and do as much clean up as yours truly.

Give this one a try.  I knitted it in about three or four days of part-time work.  Enjoy!

You can see another view of this knitted in a lovely honey-mustard color here at Soulemama.